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Author Topic: Sneak Preview of The Assassin  (Read 11473 times)
Remfer
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« on: November 07, 2006, 03:36:29 PM »

 12 Welcome all to the sneak preview.  Here you can read chapters one and two before the third is even made.  The final story, you will have to wait for

 ( laugh laugh Basically this is a teaser trailer  laugh laugh )


Please :Rate and Comment: (idk how to do the smily) to tell me if you would like to read the rest and i should continue working on it as planned, or if i should just stop now becuase it's pointless and no one likes the story and they don't think it will get better. (note it probably will get better and i am working on the name so don't comment about that)


                                                         The Assassin
                                                                 Rebirth of a Warrior



                                                         Chapter 1: The void of Time

   The light faded away this time.  Remfer was a little sad.  Remfer, who’s Remfer?  The being thought to himself as he floated there in the nothingness.  The darkness was completely gone.  Then there was nothing.  Sleep the being thought, and sleep overtook him.
   The being woke up.  The light was back.  It faded again, and then came back.  It happened many times.  This was a change the being thought.  The light continued to fade and come back until everything was gone.  The dark came back again and far in the distance there was a purple dot.  It grew bigger and the being felt himself being flung forwards.  Suddenly he saw it.  It was a giant wormhole.  It began to consume him, and then nothing again.


                                                           Chapter 2: Re-awakening

   The light came into view again.  Then it faded and Remfer could feel his fingers for the first time in about five minutes.  Then a red light appeared in front of his eyes and then he could see again.  Words appeared in front of his vision and for a second he was freaked, but then he was starting to remember about the computers.  After a while Remfer was able to realize that he could actually move his body and control his limbs.  He felt every muscle tighten as it once did and then he suddenly was afraid.  Afraid because he didn’t know where he was.  Afraid because he didn’t have the safety of the warm light.
   Remfer tightened his muscles and jumped up into a crouch position.  He quickly looked around the room.  To his right was nothing but shadows, and to his left was the same.  A voice resonated from nowhere, “It’s good to see you’ve only taken a few minutes to remember how to use you muscles.  It took many others much longer, up to a few days.”
   Remfer looked around and suddenly his vision turned red again.  He remembered the infrared computer and tried to use it to find the speaker.  He found the person and rolled off the operation table he was on in surprise.  He slowly began to raise himself above the table and when his eyes were at table level he saw the person who had spoken again and fell over backwards in shock.  He started moving back until he hit another person.  He looked around and then began to run to the nearest corner where he began to have a small spastic attack/nervous breakdown.
   The person who had spoken walked into the light and that proved to Remfer that he wasn’t delusional.  The person that had spoken was indeed Seither.  “Yo-yo-you-you’re s-supposed to be dead!” Remfer shouted as he pointed at Seither.  “You died a few days ago.  It was on all of the news channels.  Ars even sent out a messaging system to all of us to tell us about your death!”
   “That was ten years ago.”
   “Ten years?  Ten years…no, that’s not possible.  It’s only been a few hours since I was killed.”
   “No, it’s been ten years.  You have been in what has now been acknowledged as the Void of Time.  In a second, the Void of Time is another dimension where time is different.  From there you can travel through time, stop time, or just sit there depending on how you got there.  No one knows how to get there safely, but the way that most people get there, like you, was to be banished.  Unfortunately, if you are banished, you cannot move through the Void, but you just stay there.  The dagger on the table is the reverse dagger to the one that was used to banish you there.”
   “So…I didn’t die?”
   “In a sense, no…but your body has decomposed a little and we had to put you under ice, so if you feel a bit cold you’ll no why.”
   “But, you died didn’t you?”
   “It was harder to resurrect me than it was you, for I was in the Void of Death, and you were only in a Void of Time.  My soul had left this world and the close worlds and ancient works of the Forgotten Ancients had to be planned in order to resurrect me.”
   “But the Forgotten Ancients don’t have power, their just warriors.  Regular Humans.”
   “Don’t give him more questions.  They will be answered in time.” Mrtimbr said as he stepped into view.
   “Ok, now I have questions.”
   “Now’s not the time,” Mrtimbr said.  “But you will learn about everything later.  All I can tell you now is that there are two Forgotten Ancients.  And I am not the Mrtimbr you think.  The Mrtimbr you think of when you hear that name is the leader of the alliance of warriors who live near the outer edges of the universe.  But the Mrtimbr that I am is the leader of the other Forgotten Ancients.  Do not be surprised if you see any former members of the Forgotten Ancients you know.  In the last ten years, over half of the people you know have died and are now part of this alliance.  This is all I can tell you for now.  The rest you will learn yourself.”
   “I’m-“
   Mrtimbr raised a hand.  “You don’t need to say it.  I have telepathic abilities.  I know you’re confused.  But we have told you everything that you need to start your new life.”
   “New life?”
   “I expect you would want to start off fresh before you continue with your intentions.”
   “My intentions?”
   “Your memories haven’t fully come back, but you are going to intend to get revenge on the entire Next Generation alliance.”
   Remfer paused for a moment and then left through the sliding door to head to his new life.




EDIT:

Chapter 3 has been finally written, but you'll have to wait for the entire story to be completed, it wouldn't be a sneak peak if it continued to add on like t.v. shows like heroes and 24 laugh
« Last Edit: November 23, 2006, 10:12:03 PM by Remfer » Report to moderator   Logged
zephyrblade
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« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2006, 01:56:32 AM »

..............
 1
Excuse my n00b speak, but ....  laugh
'TIS TEH PWNAGE!  wow
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Python.
LOLSNAKESINMAHCONSOLE
Seither
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« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2006, 05:27:30 PM »

.....You know, technically Ch.1 is the prologue and Ch.2 is Ch.1, as Ch.1 is too short to be deemed a chapter really...it's good....but yea, that's going to irritate me.....blame my perfectionist writing attitudes.
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Remfer
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« Reply #3 on: November 08, 2006, 09:17:43 PM »

Like i said...(i think i said it  laugh ) Completely unedited...

Comment noted.   12
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« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2006, 01:12:59 PM »

I know it's unedited. And you can leave it if you want, some authors do have a ch.1 that is that short.....it's just incorrectly named.
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Remfer
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« Reply #5 on: November 13, 2006, 01:21:25 PM »

as i said before...comment noted, and yes i did switch it in the actual story
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« Reply #6 on: November 13, 2006, 01:26:01 PM »

ah, cool. I have an unspoken rule. If ch.1 isn't a page in length, it's a prologue. But that's just me. Can't wait for the finished product.
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Remfer
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« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2006, 08:16:22 PM »

it's taking a while to make...sortof hard to do, and i have a lot going on with school and all
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« Reply #8 on: November 15, 2006, 07:18:15 PM »

I know how that is. Writing a short story, and two different novels, while still doing school and having a fairly active life is hard. It amazes me that I get about 2 chapters, 1 per story, done a month.
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Remfer
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« Reply #9 on: November 15, 2006, 09:43:32 PM »

laugh don't worry, my mom, (who is only getting her master's in writing) has nothing to do during the day and the most she has written during a day is four pages (and that was during the summer) during the school year she writes less than half a page, her weekly average is maybe a sentence laugh

EDIT:

She'll be lucky if she's done by the end of next summer
« Last Edit: November 22, 2006, 12:02:06 PM by Remfer » Report to moderator   Logged
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« Reply #10 on: November 23, 2006, 02:08:21 AM »

It's a nice story, it reminded me of the book Pandora - The Jesus Incident, by Frank Herbert and Bill Ransom.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jesus_Incident

The main character in the book is awakened in a similar way. The story is about a spaceship equiped with all the genetic material to clone every species on Earth, as well as combine the genetic material to create other life forms. The spaceship is enroled in an experiment, with cloned crew, designed to make the ship learn human behavior from the crew, and hopefully gain consciousness.
The experiment objective is completed, but the results are unexpected. The conscious ship turns against its crew and fails to obey its creators. It has the power to create and re-create different versions of Earth, terraforming a planet and populating it with different cloned species, creating different eviroments for the human clones it has in its vats, in order to correct an inperfection that it has detected, that lead to the self-destuction of the Earth that created the ship. Upon failing several times in correcting the human urge to self-destruct, it decides to try a final approach, creating a hery hostile environement, naming the planet Pandora and populating it with all the deadly creatures it could find. The humans are put to a final test facing their own extinction from the Universe, against all evil creatures, and finaly discover that fighting amongst themselfs is not the answer.

The book is more complex than it looks, very interesting too.
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Remfer
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« Reply #11 on: November 23, 2006, 10:06:39 PM »

hmmm.....never heard of it...i'll look into it, but i didn't really think of a ship that cloned, re cloned, took over and kept recreating human species on other planets...i just thought of this as a way with supernatural powers so to speak for Remfer to take revenge.  and the only reason it explains that there are two different FA's are because Seither talked about the FA's as being regular adventurures and i had this whole complex story line once i joined FA in the game about some ancient spirit and everything.........

 laugh i would not like to be a clone in that final world in the book pandora
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Remfer
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« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2006, 10:52:47 PM »

i would like to know as the writer of the story you have previewed  12

Are you willing to wait until the story is finished  wow

or, are you anticipating it (hopefully cuase you liked it so much) that you would like another chapter to quench your thirst while waiting?   wow

PLEASE REPLY...i have two chapters that are not posted here...i will post the previous (e.g. the one after the last chapter on this preview) if you want it.

If you don't want more to the preview, then u don't have to reply, or reply you'd rather wait until the story is complete...(p.s. a little slip of the tongue, Remfer kills Zendiburn again...if you haven't read the hacker...then read it so u know what i am talking about...it's cool)
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« Reply #13 on: November 30, 2006, 10:29:25 PM »

Remfer, advice from author to author, when you make a sneak peek preview, never add more to it. Keep them wanting more, so when you release it, a ton of people read it.
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Remfer
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« Reply #14 on: November 30, 2006, 10:59:10 PM »

ok, so i won't release anymore besides what's already there....to anyone who really wanted more...blame monkey for having to wait longer...

i know ur all dying with anticipation  laugh

btw, zephyrblade, i've found a way to incorperate (big words) u into the story and the story is gonna turn out sweet!
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